I Warned You – an ISG Writing Exercise

On 18 October 2017, these three words were chosen:

  • Turkey
  • Narrow
  • Messy

And these blurbs were written within five minutes….Enjoy!



Jordan narrowed his brown eyes as he stared down at the messy wooden table. “Not again,” he muttered as he watched a turkey with green and red tail feathers peck at the food. “Max,” he said in a scolding manner, “how many times have I warned you about using my wand?” The turkey looked up at him with human green eyes. It was a bit disconcerting to see those eyes in a turkey’s body, but Jordan shook off the eerie feeling as he went about looking for his wand. He was walking about the table trying to dodge over-turned dishes and chairs when he heard a crunch. Jordan swallowed hard as he gingerly stepped back to reveal his wand lying on the floor in two pieces. He caught Max’s gaze, who human eyes now held a worried look.

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As I skimmed down the narrow alley trying to be as quiet as possible I thought about the coming events. A duel. I’d never been in a duel before. I was fast, sure, but I’d never needed to really know how fast. I always thought I would eventually be in a duel but not for something like this. I ran into a gentleman. Completely by accident. Messy business that. Not in a million years would I be so foolish as to do something like that on purpose. I gnawed the last bite of my turkey leg and carefully placed it on the ground at the end of the alley. I looked around the corner hoping… but there he was. With an entourage too. I pushed my shoulders back and, head high and walked toward them. As I passed the first man I was taken aback as I was flung to the ground, my knees hitting hard. I bit back tears, pulled in a breath and stood. Then I realized my hat had been dislodged. It toppled to the ground. My heavy long mane spilled out and a hush took over the crowd.

He is a girl,” someone declared. I cringed.

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He walked down the narrow alley, the dead turkey swinging at his side. They would eat well tonight, better than they had all winter. The dead bird was scrawny, and had not been plucked, so it would be a messy preparation, but still his mouth watered at the thought of hot, roast meat. His stomach gave an answering grumble. Shadows moving behind him pulled him from his lovely fantasy, and he groped for the rusty knife in his belt. He turned to look, but the alley was empty. After a moment spent searching the darkness, he convinced himself that he had been imagining things. He shrugged and turned to continue home. He ran into the tall man standing in front of him, swinging the silver topped cane with a smile that bared pointed teeth.

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This was going to be a complete disaster. 


Monica looked out at the motion that was her living-room; parents, grandparents, children, and grandchildren all crammed into a tiny space. All were waiting to gorge themselves on more food than they ever needed to eat in one meal. 


She looked back in the kitchen to the messy island that the now thoroughly burnt turkey was sitting on. Monica weighed her options. 


On the one hand she may be able to come up with an excuse and a horrific story that involved a narrow escape of some life-threatening incident that caused the further demise of the afore mentioned turkey. Or possibly she should use option B. 

As she watched grandma Ethel pull out her dentures to show Mikey, Monica’s seven-year-old nephew who immediately went screaming towards his mother who was engaged in a conversation with her sister’s husband that looked way to flirty for a family event she made her choice. 


She turned, removed her apron, grabbed her coat and left through the back. 


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The table could be called several adjectives, each more extreme than the last. But, for the sake of avoiding rude language, Kevin went with the simple go-to of “messy.” Smeared in gravy, doused in tiny pieces of bread, and containing a long trail of yams and cranberry sauce like some massive snail had gone through the area.

All of this paled though, from the thing standing on the table, on its’ hind legs, wielding a carving knife with supreme hostility.

“You…you butcher!” the thing cried, and Henry flinched. Not because he was insulted—he was a literal butcher, after all, that was kind of the whole reason the creature was here actually—but because he could not fathom how or why a headless turkey would be able to talk to him.

It glistened underneath the lights, the golden-brown skin of a perfect roast only increasing the surrealist nature of the proceedings.

“Um…I’m sorry?”

“Sorry!?” shrieked the bird, and Henry flinched again as a knife missed by a narrow margin his ear. He glanced back as the implement stuck out of the wall, still vibrating.

So, the bird was super strong, too. Great.

“I am very sorry?” Henry ventured. “I did not…well, it’s Thanksgiving and all. It’s the custom?”

“And you expect me to care?” the fowl said and jumped down off the table. “I suppose, then, if it were the right holiday, it would be okay to cook and eat you?”

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Filed under Creative Writing, Writers Group, Writing, Writing Exercise

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